So I'm pulling into the parking lot of the grocery store ~ for the second time today. And a freaky young woman (late teens, early 20s) in a very short short skirt (cheeks are visible), muffin top, flippy flops and a mane of bleached blond, stringy, greasy unwashed hair walks right out in front of me. I slam on the brakes, honk the horn (well, lay on it long and loud) and throw my arms up in the air.
She gave me the finger ~ and a very dirty look.
So I mutter a few of my favorite words under my breath, pull into my parking space, get out and walk around to the passenger side to get my eco~friendly bags, shopping list and the all~important Yummy debit card.
Same freaky woman is coming over to me. Uh oh! Does she have walker's rage? Is she going to spit on me? I was a little nervous but refused to get back in the Yummy~mobile and hide like a little girl. And, hiding in a big Ford Expedition wrapped in a large garlic clove with my name and logo all over it is, well, impossible.
I apologize for walking out in front of you. I was listening to my iPod and wasn't paying attention.
Uh, ok. It's just this is a very busy road and people typically aren't walking around out there.
Hey! I see you are a personal chef. I graduated from culinary school ~ I went to the CAA in New York ~ and am looking for a job. Are you hiring?
CAA?
Um, well, er, uh, the economy's so bad....
Yeah. I'm getting that a lot.
She blows a large bubble from the gum she's been chomping, pops it with her finger and uses her tongue to pull all the gum back into her mouth.
Well, good luck with the job search.
I'm heading into the store here to put in a job application. Do you know anyone in there? Can you give me a recommendation?
OK. It's seriously time to get out of here!
Gee, no, I'm sorry. I don't shop here a whole lot {fingers and toes crossed}, but good luck.
Off she goes, into the grocery store, with mini skirt, flippy flops, greasy hair and finger playing with her bubble gum.
Whew! She wasn't hired ~ but I did check with the store manager just to make sure.
So if you know of anyone who's looking for a female trying to stuff 20 pounds of flour into a 5 pound sack, with greasy bleached blond hair and who can chew gum and pop the largest bubbles with the best of them, I've got the gal for you!
