Chef Debbie Says: I Love Birthdays When They're Not Mine!

Last Saturday was sweet husband Tim's birthday. Number 54 (in case you were wondering).

In Yummy! world, a birthday means a party. And a party means friends. And drinks. And food.

Lots and lots and lots of food. (Well, actually lots and lots of drinks too, but you knew that already didn't you?)

After several days in the kitchen, here's what the masses nibbled on:

Beef tenderloin, rubbed with bourbon barrel smoked sea salt, roasted rare and sliced paper thin

Marinated jumbo shrimp with homemade cocktail sauce

Honey Dijon marinated pork tenderloin, sliced paper thin and served with spicy mango and papaya salsa

Salmon 3~ways with Yummy~ized blinis: salmon roasted with maple and dill; roasted with Dijon and sesame; and, sweet and spicy. Blinis were served on toasted sourdough, topped with dilled deviled egg salad, creme fraiche and Tobiko caviar

An entire tray of 50 blinis ~ which were gone in about 15 seconds...

Sesame chicken with sweet garlic chili dipping sauce

Truffle paté and black peppercorn paté

Creamy caviar dip

New Orleans spicy crab dip

Tim's favorite spicy deviled eggs with crab ~ 48 whole eggs were gone almost before I could put the platter down

Brie with balsamic caramelized onion chutney and spicy pecans

Cheese, cheese and more cheese

Parmesan cubes with 2 dipping sauces: black truffle honey and red chili apricots

Chunky Danish bleu dip

Roasted 3~onion dip

And desserts. And fruit. And chocolate truffles. And sweet and crunchy pecans...

Judging from the amount of food left over ~ which was a crumb here and there ~ I'm thinking none of the guests had seen a scrap of food since about Tuesday...

If I'd followed a traditional caterer's calculations of:
# of Hours x # of People = Total # of Bites
I would have been about 20 pounds short just on the protein!

So even though it's a lot of work, I thank Bacchus that sweet husband is in good health, that we have amazing and wonderful friends and that I had Sunday off to clean up!

Chef Debbie Says: Money ≠ Class ~ Part II

If you didn't read Money ≠ Class ~ Part I you may want to before reading Part II.

So, The Jerk, in his 5'3" 140 pound, wimpy, Napoleon~complexed builder importantness shows me through his house. I say house instead of home because the difference is obvious. A home is warm and inviting. The Jerk's house is oversized in every way boasting a faux English medieval decor and that nouveau riche smell that you just can't quite eliminate.

The next day, rather than bother picking up the phone I sent The Jerk an e~mail detailing the courses I'd be serving and giving him a complete description of the place settings he would need. Surprise, surprise. I never heard back from him.

Sous chef, the amazing Ryan, and I arrived to find that he rented a cheap round card table and those mini white hard wooden chairs that nobody's butt fits in. And, he was still in the process of installing hideous giant sconces downstairs in the bar area, making his very pregnant wife carry a step stool down the stairs to him. As I said, he's a Jerk...

But. Not my problem.

China that The Jerk borrowed? Lots of non~matching bowls, coffee saucers, a few salad plates and dinner plates. All in that sickening sweet blue flower design that the grocery store sells as a "Piece of the Week" special.

Whatever. Once again, not my problem.

The Jerk had one volunteer Server instead of the two he was supposed to have. Said Server had no idea what she was supposed to do, and just wanted to stand in the kitchen and talk. Ryan, bless his patient heart, took charge of her. I would have kicked her saggy butt right out the back door.

Oh, and Server said she wasn't going to wash the dishes. Well, don't think I'm going to do them, sweetie!

Thanks to Ryan, the menu was beautiful. I was so disgusted with The Jerk that I just wanted to marinate the pork tenderloin, serve a few mashed sweet potatoes, a green salad and call it a day. Instead, Ryan talked me into this fabulous menu:

Caviar "Blini" with Dilled Egg Salad on Potato ~ Roasted purple and white fingerling potatoes stuffed with dill and Dijon egg salad, topped with creme fraiche and Tobiko caviar

Shrimp Stuffed with Panko and Parmesan ~ Two jumbo shrimp stuffed with a panko~Parmesan mixture, roasted and served on panko crusted fried green tomato slices and a large wedge of charred braised pork belly

Organic Baby Greens Salad ~ Organic baby greens tossed with shallots, sweet and spicy pecans and homemade pomegranate champagne dressing and garnished with shaved red pepper Asiago

Apple and Basil Sorbet ~ This one was all Ryan's baby and it was absolutely amazing! Homemade sorbet flavored with tart green apples and lots of fresh basil and garnished with organic rose petals

Pork 3~Ways:
Pork with Port and Cherry Glaze ~ Pork tenderloin medallions with a Port sauce and marinated cherries served on bourbon~barrel smoked cracked black peppercorn crusted goat cheese slices
Apricot and Pecan Stuffed Pork Tenderloin ~ Pork tenderloin stuffed with a mixture of apricots, pecans, garlic and thyme, served on herbed baked sourdough rounds and drizzled with red chili infused honey
Pork with Tarragon Calvados Cream Sauce ~ Mustard rubbed pork tenderloin, roasted and sliced into medallions and served on sautéed apple slices and garnished with a Tarragon Calvados Cream sauce

Herbed Orzo with Mascarpone Cheese

Roasted Zucchini and Yellow Squash Slices on Rosemary Skewers

Bread Pudding with Sautéed Peaches ~ Bread pudding stuffed with lots of sautéed peaches and tossed in an egg and cream mixture flavored with star anise, cardamon and vanilla sugar

No, Ryan and I did not do the dishes. We scraped, rinsed and left them in the sink. I'm guessing Mrs. Jerk probably got stuck washing them... Once again, not my problem.

Moral of this very long, two part blog: Money Does Not Equal Class.

Never has.

Never will.

Chef Debbie Says: Money ≠ Class ~ Part I

September is finally over. Thank Bacchus!

I had an event booked every weekend, with a couple of weekends double or triple booked. And, every single one of them was fun, full of great people and something I'd definitely do again.

Except one.

Last weekend was my annual charity event where local chefs are given the same ingredients (this year: pork tenderloin, jumbo shrimp, salad greens), assigned a host home and asked to cook for 16~30 people.

I've done this event for the last three years and it's always been a joy to work with the host home, the guests were gracious and the evening a delight.

Until. This. Year.

This year's host (forevermore, now called The Jerk) was rude, condescending and so full of himself that I hated every minute of the time I spent planning, prepping and cooking. I knew I was in trouble when I met The Mother {insert scary witch laugh here} at the Chef~Host Meet & Greet.

Here's how the conversation went:

The Mother: You're soooo fortunate to be assigned to my son's beautiful home. He's an important builder and he's just too important, too busy and too wonderful to waste his time bothering with this blah, blah, blah...

Me: Oh, freaking crap!

The Mother: Continuation of blah, blah, blah, my important son, blah, blah, blah... Oh, and the chefs we've worked with in the past have brought the china, silverware, linens, glassware, servers and extra tables and chairs so I expect you'll be doing the same...

Me: No, actually, the host home is responsible for all of that. I just show up with the food, my sous chef and prepare an amazing meal.

The Mother: Well {with a flick of her lacquered, platinum helmet head}, in the past we've worked with restaurant chefs and they've brought everything. We don't have enough settings so I expect you'll have to bring it.

Me: Gee, let me think... No, sorry. In the past, I've worked in homes where they've entertained on a regular basis and they have always had enough of everything, including space for the guests.

Oh, and by the way, if you weren't such a Mother I'd be happy to bring everything since I have more than enough.

Needless to say, The Mother was not happy with me. Unfortunately, that was the easiest and most polite conversation that I had with anyone in the family.

After sending numerous e~mails to The Jerk without response, I picked up the telephone.

The Jerk: Yeah, I got your e~mails but I'm just too busy and too important to respond. I'm an important builder, you know... blah, blah, blah...

Me: Oh, freaking crap!

The Jerk: And since I'm an important builder, the only time I can meet you is...

So, I clear time out of my day to fit into his schedule. And he cancels the appointment about an hour before we're due to meet. The Jerk then made another appointment although how he can find time in his important builder life is beyond me!

We're scheduled to meet in the middle of the day ~ his choice of day and time.

So I arrive. On time. And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

The Jerk shows up a full 30 minutes late and this is what he said (and I'm not ad libbing on this one, this is what he really said): I'm a builder. I didn't call you because my time is more valuable than yours!

And, as you can guess, by now I'm seriously POd. And, not polite about it: You and your time are no more important than mine. I had to leave a client's home in the middle of the day to fit into your schedule and you are so rude you can't even call to tell me you're going to be late!

By now, our relationship is in the toilet....

Chef Debbie's Spoiled Brat Vacation Update

Spoiled brat is back, and back with a vengeance!

Whew! It's been a long time since spoiled brat has made an appearance and I was afraid she was gone for good...

This is the view from our balcony. The trees directly below us are full of hummingbirds and I love sitting outside in the afternoon visiting with Bacchus and watching the hummers zip by.

Yesterday we went to the Phoenix Botanical Garden and they are featuring an amazing Chihuly exhibit spaced all throughout the catci. His work has been carefully placed to enhance the natural beauty, grace and color of the surroundings.

I took 200+ photos of the catci, flowers and butterflies.

Here's one of the Chihuly glass exhibits and it's over 30' tall. Unbelievable! I'm can't imagine how they shipped some of these pieces. I can barely get a dozen wine glasses from point A to point B without breaking some!

So sweet husband and I just got back from dinner at Meritage Steak House. We skipped lunch so we could eat there and we still couldn't finish our entrées.

Dinner was prix fixes with soup, salad or cheese course, main entrée with starch and roasted asparagus and a choice of 7~layer chocolate cake or crème brûlée.

I had the smoked prime rib (every bit of 14oz which I couldn't even begin to finish) and it came with the most sinful sour cream~blue cheese~horseradish cream, garlic mashed potatoes and roasted asparagus. Maple crème brûlée to finish dinner ~ cuz you just have to have something sweet at the end of a meal.

Tomorrow is another day in paradise. Up around 6:00 a.m.

Funny how I don't complain about getting up here at 6:00 a.m. to walk for 60 minutes while at home getting up that early going to work is, well, just work!

So tomorrow morning. Walk 60 minutes. Chef prepared breakfast. Pool for a couple of hours. Shade for weenie red head Debbie. Downtown Scottsdale for lunch and pop into a few shops. Back to the hotel to clean up and dinner at Radio Milano here in Phoenix.

Just another day in paradise.

Extra Wine? Not in My Glass (Unfortunately)!

A Blog A Day For A Month: Day 2. Only 29 more days to go.

A couple of days ago there was an article in The Los Angeles Times discussing a study published this week in the journal "Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research" claims that alcoholic drinks served in bars and restaurants are often larger than the standard size and contain more alcohol. The study went on to claim that the average glass of wine served in a bar was 43% larger than standard.

Huh?

First, I'd like to know who really reads that journal. Then I'd like to know which bars and restaurants they studied and where they're getting their glasses of wine!

I went out the other night with Sandee for a cocktail after work and I can guarantee that my glass of wine was certainly not almost 50% more than a standard glass of wine. Now granted, it was happy hour. And my glass of wine was $1 off the regular price. But it sure looked like instead of serving the regular glass of wine for $1 less than their standard price, they served $1 less of alcohol and charged me $1 less.

When a bar/restaurant can charge $8/glass for a bottle of wine that retails for $16, food prices rising over 20% in the last year alone, a Bear market on the horizon and gas averaging over $4.25 nationally a little extra wine would really help dull the pain.

What Did I Really Say?

Wow!

I'm shocked at how many people actually read the Yummy! blog.  

Maybe I shouldn't talk about Bacchus and liberally imbibing libations quite so much.

Nah.

I received a lot of e~mails asking how I responded to the catering company asking me to help them with the Kahlua pulled pork recipe.

My response:

Dear Catering Company ~
While I have never made Kahlua pulled pork, I would probably take a red wine marinade recipe and play with it until I found the right combination  ~ just make sure you don't make it too sweet.  Failing that, I'd research Cooks.com or Epicurious.com.  Good luck.

Short, sweet, not too helpful, not too bitchy.

An afterword.

Had I posted a recipe like this on  Yummy~issimo! Personal Chef ServiceI would have gladly copied, pasted and shared.

Now I'm starting to feel bad that I didn't help.

Oh well.

I Don't Care

Clients!

Gotta love them, gotta love them.

Yes, I know. Clients are the reason, the only reason, I'm in business. And Thank Bacchus for my clients! My Personal Chef clients are absolutely amazing. I love working for them ~ most of them don't even want to see a menu anymore ~ that's how much they trust me.

And then there are the party clients.

Sometimes they are a Personal Chef client who wants a party ~ appetizer, buffet, holiday, whatever. They know me. They trust me. When I tell them they're going to love IT ~ whatever IT is ~ they trust me. And they do love it.

Some party clients feel the need to micro~manage everything. I totally understand that as I micro~manage everything myself. Just ask Sweet Husband Tim.

Micro~manage mama, that's me.

The micro~manage clients are easy. You know they're going to second guess everything you suggest. That's OK. I always have Plan B. Or, at least if it's early enough in the day, I can make up Plan B.

Need to see the flatware again? No problem. Don't like the feel of the knife? No problem. Here are three more options to look at.

Need to change the menu 37 times the week before the party? No problem. And, chances are, you can change the menu a couple of days before the party. I've ordered 10 pounds of beef tenderloin for your event and two days before the party you and decide that you want lamb chops? No problem. Chances are, you'll have an upcharge from beef to lamb ~ but most likely you've done this to other party planners in the past and understand the upcharge.

Decide the day before your event you want me to provide the tables, linens, fine china, flatware, red and white wine glasses and everything else? No problem. Stress is my middle name.

But.

The I Don't Care Client will drive me to Bacchus's arms in a heartbeat.

Would you like beef tenderloin, roasted salmon or a seafood raw bar for your event?

I don't care.

What type of event would you like? A heavy appy party, a sit~down plated dinner or a buffet?

I don't care.

Would you like to use fine china, your own everyday plates or plastic plates for your event?

I don't care.

No, I'm not joking. I have an I Don't Care client party this Saturday night.

But, after talking with her the last few days I truly understand.

Three sick children ~ all under the age of 6. Sick dog. Husband traveling. Crazy busy work and volunteer schedule. Party scheduled for Saturday night.

I'd be the same way.

I'm having 26 people over in two days. Feed them and make them happy.

I can do it.

But when I get home very late Saturday night, I'm going to visit Bacchus. He won't care.

Appy Party at Chez Yummy~issimo!

As a Certified Personal Chef and owner of Yummy~issimo! I don't have a lot of free weekend time so when I found myself taking the week off between Christmas and New Years, I decided to have a small party at Chez Spangler. Those of you who know me know that I don't do decorations. But this year, the decorating demon came over me.

Demonly decorate I did. The fireplace, the chandelier, the antique peer mirror, poinsettias and bows everywhere. It looked great before the holidays. Now I'm waiting for the crazy cleaning clown to show up.

Robyn & Vic
Originally uploaded by yummyissimo

So, party at Chez Spangler. It was just a small one with Tom and Vic, Robyn and Brad (and their super friends Nanc and Rob) and Judy and Alan. Kristy and Ryan were supposed to be there, but he got really sick. The party was in part a thank you for the amazing meal that Ryan cooked for us last month. Now, I'll have to have another party ~ maybe he wanted to approve the menu in advance? The only thing that would have made the party better is if the Kristy~Ryan and Beth~Kenny duos had been in attendance. But Robyn and Vic had a great time together!

Appy Table
Originally uploaded by yummyissimo

The appy menu:

Double truffle beef tenderloin
Crab and shrimp double stuffed eggs
Caviar and dill dip
Spicy sun~dried tomato dip
Antipasto with Parmesan~artichoke dressing
Homemade pate with Calvados and currants
Mini Greek pizzas with lamb and pesto
Cheese, cheese, cheese

Sweet husband ~ who doesn't cook and still needs instruction before approaching the oven ~ suggested the beef was too rare. I didn't know there was such a thing! I think he was in the minority as the 3~pound tenderloin was gone in a flash.

Oh crap! I'll have to ask Bacchus which libation is appropriate for taking all of the decorating demon crap down.

It Was One of Us!

So yesterday's Horoscope for Virgos was a bit ominous:

You've got a whodunit on your hands. There are several suspects, but don't jump to conclusions until you do some thorough investigating. The answer isn't so obvious.

Ooohhhh.

Horoscopes are like fortune cookies ~ fun to read but I'm not going to bet my life's savings (such as they are) on my "lucky" numbers.

And, then the phone rings.

Hi, this is Debbie.

No salutation. Never a good start to the conversation.

I need you to cook for Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas Day brunch. There will be 8 for dinner and 14 for Brunch. I want beef tenderloin, potatoes, yada, yada, yada. For Christmas Day I want yada, yada, yada.

By now I've gone into a self~induced coma.

Uh, ma'am, do you realize that Christmas Eve is only four days away?

Of course I know that! That's why I'm calling you. Do you think I can do all this by myself?

Am I on Candid Camera or am I being punk'd by one of my friends?

Ryan, is that you?

Uh, ma'am. I'm sorry but I've been booked for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day since August. Unfortunately, there's no way I can squeeze you in.

Is there another Personal Chef who can do it?

Yeah, in addition to keeping all of their calendars, I can guarantee that they would love to spend 8~10 hours planning, shopping and cooking as well as losing money as the cost of goods for the Christmas Eve dinner will probably be close to the total amount you're willing to pay.

Well, you can call the other Personal Chefs in town, but I have to tell you that this close to Christmas I have to believe they're all booked.

WELL, I CERTAINLY HOPE THEY ARE MORE HELPFUL THAN YOU'VE BEEN!

The whodunit it obvious and I'm not dooin it.

I looked around the kitchen. Nobody behind the kitchen island with a hidden camera. Nobody in another room laughing as they hang up their cell phone.

Are you sure I'm not being punk'd?

Russ, is that you?

Nope. Unfortunately the answer was obvious.

It was one of us.

An overworked, stressed~out person in charge of the family holiday, gifts and food who works more than full time, has no personal time and is expected to pull miracles out of the skillet for Christmas.

Good luck, my dear. When you reach my age, you realize you can't do it all.

But with the grace of Bacchus, you won't care!

I'm a Personal Chef...Of Course I Can DO Desserts!

It's that time of year again and all the folks who think that a Personal Chef service is a substitute for dinner at Bob Evans or Olive Garden are calling me.

I think it's a conspiracy to drive me crazier.

Hi, this is Chef Debbie.

Hi. I want to give a gift certificate for Christmas. I want 2 weeks worth of meals with no repeats for a single person.

OK. Let me make sure I understand ~ you want 14 single serving individual meals with no repeats.

Yep.

OK. The price for that is $$.

What! It's just food for two weeks.

Yes ma'am. Let me explain how a Personal Chef service works...

Click.

Hi, this is Chef Debbie.

Hi. I want to buy a Gift Certificate for a friend. His wife just died and I thought I'd get a Personal Chef service instead of flowers.

What a nice thought. I can do one week's worth of meals for $$ and two weeks worth of meals for $$.

I just wanted to get this instead of flowers. I thought I'd spend about $75.

I understand but let me explain how....

Click.

Hi, this is Chef Debbie.

I want to buy a Gift Certificate for my boss for Christmas. We're all going in and can spend $$. What can I get for that?

Happy Meals for everyone?

Well, what do you think you and your office workers want for your boss?

We thought we could get food for a few weeks or maybe a dinner party.

Uh, let me explain...

Click.

And, finally the best one of the day.

Hi, this is Chef Debbie.

Hi. I want to purchase dessert for 8 for Christmas Day. I'd like two dozen Christmas cookies in all different shapes and some Christmas candy. Maybe something exotic like Peppermint Fudge or something like that.

Uh, ma'am I'm a Personal Chef.

Well, of course, I know that! But I just want dessert. You're a Personal Chef. Can't you do dessert?

I can do dessert. Your price will be $$$$.

Click.

Note to self. Turn off cell phone and visit with Bacchus tonight.

My Sick Yummy~mobile!

Today when I was leaving my Yummy client's home, the Yummy~mobile wouldn't start! Well, let me modify that. It would start but it wouldn't stay started. This client lives way out there ~ you know, go out as far as you can until the road ends, turn left, keep going for another hour, turn right at the green barn and then keep going. Yeah, I can see trying to give the Triple Thing directions out there!

For the one person in Cincinnati who hasn't seen the Yummy~mobile, let me tell you about it: A deep green Ford Expedition with the Yummy~issimo! Personal Chef Service garlic logo wrapped around the back and sides. The license plates even tell a story: YUMMMMY. OK, so it is a 1999 and it does have 91K miles but until today I haven't had a bit of trouble with it.

Maybe it was because I was feeling a bit too confident in my car~ness zen. Last week we had to have sweet husband Tim's VW Passat worked on ~ to the tune of $1300. The VW was originally my car and I never had a bit of trouble with it. But when sweet husband inherited it ~ after I stole the Expedition from him ~ he's had nothing but repair bills on the VW. So I was feeling a bit too high and mighty that MY car was running just fine, thank you very much, and that I drove it so well that I never had to take it to the shop. There's some saying about pride and a fall but I can't remember what it is ever since I fell off that ladder this afternoon.

So I finally get the Yummy~mobile started, gun the motor like I'm a 15~year old with a learner's permit, and whip it into reverse. Yummy Client has a very long down~sloping driveway. Put Y~mobile in drive. Start the engine again. And again. And again. You get the idea. When I finally drive into civilization I have to put it into neutral and give it gas (OK gun it like crazy) so that it didn't die at every stop sign, street light or other pain~in~the~spatula rush hour car in my way.

Very long drive later, I get to the repair shop. Sweet husband Tim was there waiting for me and called about nine times during my nerve~racking drive there. Now, I've already packed and unpacked the Yummy~mobile twice today and now have to do it again and attempt to pack it all into the VW.

How fun.

Bacchus and I will be good friends tonight.

Oh, by the way, sweet husband is driving the third car ~ the Blue Bomb ~ until I get the Yummy~mobile back. A 1989 used~to~be blue Olds, somewhere in the neighborhood of 190K miles (we're not sure how many miles as the electronic system hasn't worked in years), no AC, no power windows, sometimes the electronic panel works and sometimes it doesn't and then there's the left front tire that doesn't hold air very well. Oh, and it's so pretty too.

Did I mention he's a really sweet husband?

Thank Bacchus!

Oh you HAD to be here! The wine had breathed the proper amount of time ~ which in my life, means it's been opened and poured into a wineglass.

I was working at my computer after an extremely long and difficult cook day. Mr. Client loves lots of spices, onions, garlic, jalapenos etc. ~ you get the idea ~ while Mrs. Client is a no salt, no fat, no cheese, no dairy, no meat, no spice, no onion, no, no, no, no, person. Needless to say, these cook days, while fun since they are my favorite clients, are sometimes (OK most times) quite challenging.

By the way it's Friday. It's the third day in a row of 100+ degrees and I've had to schlep my equipment in and out of homes too many times this week.

And don't even ask me about the hot flashes!

So my sweet husband, Tim, interrupts the work in progress ...

Be really glad that you weren't asked to submit a videotape for Bravo TV last year!

Huh?

And he begins to read to me ~ from the Time Warner Channel Guide, September 2007 ~ which has never been high on my reading list, but, thank Bacchus he's always around to read it to me:

Bravo TV New Show: Better Half
Premiers: October 2007
What's it About:

(You gotta love this)

Hosted by Susie Essman (Curb Your Enthusiasm) and produced by the folks who brought you Battle of the Network Reality Stars, this six~hour reality competition pits the spouses of trained creative professionals (chefs, hairdressers, etc.) against each other. The professionals will have two days to train their spouses in their craft, and then the results will be assessed by the judges. As anyone who's ever tried to train their spouse in anything will tell you, it's a huge pain in the ... I mean it's funny, honey! It's fun!

It's taken me 22 years to train him to find the dishwasher. Teaching Knife Skills would be equal to earning a Master's Degree in two days!

Thank Bacchus I was on my second (or was it fifth) glass of wine. God I love Bacchus!