Saturday, October 3, 2009

Chef Debbie Says: Money ≠ Class ~ Part I

September is finally over. Thank Bacchus!

I had an event booked every weekend, with a couple of weekends double or triple booked. And, every single one of them was fun, full of great people and something I'd definitely do again.

Except one.

Last weekend was my annual charity event where local chefs are given the same ingredients (this year: pork tenderloin, jumbo shrimp, salad greens), assigned a host home and asked to cook for 16~30 people.

I've done this event for the last three years and it's always been a joy to work with the host home, the guests were gracious and the evening a delight.

Until. This. Year.

This year's host (forevermore, now called The Jerk) was rude, condescending and so full of himself that I hated every minute of the time I spent planning, prepping and cooking. I knew I was in trouble when I met The Mother {insert scary witch laugh here} at the Chef~Host Meet & Greet.

Here's how the conversation went:

The Mother: You're soooo fortunate to be assigned to my son's beautiful home. He's an important builder and he's just too important, too busy and too wonderful to waste his time bothering with this blah, blah, blah...

Me: Oh, freaking crap!

The Mother: Continuation of blah, blah, blah, my important son, blah, blah, blah... Oh, and the chefs we've worked with in the past have brought the china, silverware, linens, glassware, servers and extra tables and chairs so I expect you'll be doing the same...

Me: No, actually, the host home is responsible for all of that. I just show up with the food, my sous chef and prepare an amazing meal.

The Mother: Well {with a flick of her lacquered, platinum helmet head}, in the past we've worked with restaurant chefs and they've brought everything. We don't have enough settings so I expect you'll have to bring it.

Me: Gee, let me think... No, sorry. In the past, I've worked in homes where they've entertained on a regular basis and they have always had enough of everything, including space for the guests.

Oh, and by the way, if you weren't such a Mother I'd be happy to bring everything since I have more than enough.

Needless to say, The Mother was not happy with me. Unfortunately, that was the easiest and most polite conversation that I had with anyone in the family.

After sending numerous e~mails to The Jerk without response, I picked up the telephone.

The Jerk: Yeah, I got your e~mails but I'm just too busy and too important to respond. I'm an important builder, you know... blah, blah, blah...

Me: Oh, freaking crap!

The Jerk: And since I'm an important builder, the only time I can meet you is...

So, I clear time out of my day to fit into his schedule. And he cancels the appointment about an hour before we're due to meet. The Jerk then made another appointment although how he can find time in his important builder life is beyond me!

We're scheduled to meet in the middle of the day ~ his choice of day and time.

So I arrive. On time. And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

The Jerk shows up a full 30 minutes late and this is what he said (and I'm not ad libbing on this one, this is what he really said): I'm a builder. I didn't call you because my time is more valuable than yours!

And, as you can guess, by now I'm seriously POd. And, not polite about it: You and your time are no more important than mine. I had to leave a client's home in the middle of the day to fit into your schedule and you are so rude you can't even call to tell me you're going to be late!

By now, our relationship is in the toilet....


Lisa Brisch said...

I'm dying here! I can't wait for part 2. What an ass!

Sandy Hall said...

More! I wanna hear more!