Recipe for Disaster!

Got home from cooking for one of my fav clients today and decided to whip up something for dinner.  The thought was to stick it in the fridge for a couple of hours, get some work done, have a glass with Bacchus and then pop dinner in the oven.

Sorta like having my own personal chef.

Then.  This.  Happened.

We have to worry about lead in all the products from China, mad cow disease, pesticides, artificial growth hormones, mercury in our seafood, white sugar, white flour, yada, yada, yada.

Thought a pork tenderloin, stuffed with spicy mango couscous made with a touch of Grand Marnier sounded good.  Easy.  Not too heavy.  Not too many carbs.  Low fat. All the good things.

Then.  This.  Happened.

The couscous was cooked.  Spicy mango chutney and spices added.  Pine nuts toasted and added.  Garlic and shallots minced and added.  The pork was stuffed and put in the fridge.  And, it looked really good.

Putting the lid back on the chutney, I noticed something odd.

Huh.  That looks like a piece of glass in the chutney jar.

Nah.  Can't be.  Must be the light reflecting funny.

Nope.  It's glass.  A large freaking piece of glass.

In the jar.

In the freaking jar!  And my jar certainly isn't broken anywhere.

It's over 3" long and 1 1/2" wide.  Look closely at the photo and you'll see the piece of broken glass on the lid.

So.  I've e~mailed the company.  They're in India.  I'll never hear from them.

All I can do is warn you.  If you have a jar of Poonjiaji's Major Grey's Mango Chutney in your refrigerator, cupboard or pantry, throw it out.  The code on my jar is 6171N2.

Great.  One more thing to put on the "things to worry about" list.  Food items not bottled in the good ole U.S. of A.

Yummy~issimo! Website Redesign

Words that should make you shudder!

Website redesign.

Just typing them gives me the whillys all up and down my whisk.

If you've been on my website before, you'll know there are over 200 recipes from my segment every Friday morning on WGRR 103.5FM with Chris and Janeen.

Well. On my previous server it would take up to TWO HOURS just to input three little recipes. It should have taken no more than, oh say, about 20 minutes. Unless, of course, I input the html code after 11:00 p.m. or before 7:00 a.m. ~ then it would only take about 60 minutes. And, that's two hours every week ~ over 100 hours a year. Can you say sloooooooowww server?

And it's not like I don't know what I'm doing on a computer. I can write code. I have a background in design. I worked with DOS for Bacchus's sake!

Such fun. Such freaking fun.

Why don't I pay somebody to do this you ask? What a great question. I DID PAY SOMEBODY! In fact, I've paid that "somebody" $1,800 for a new website design. But, their work and response been as slow as their servers.

I WILL be making the phone call today to get my $$$ back.

Moved my website yesterday and did a quick redesign. Well, not so quick. I'm still having trouble with my previous server keeping my e~mail.

So I'll ask a favor of all of you.

Please review my website for errors, typos or links that don't work.

Please click on a link and send me an e~mail. If I get it, I'll respond back.

The WGRR recipes still aren't on their page yet. I should get those done this week.

Oh. Did I tell you my  Yummy~issimo! website redesign is just a patch until I finish my real new web redesign?

Such fun. Such freaking fun.

Avalanche

Problem.

Huge problem.

I think I've started an avalanche.

A new Yummy! e~mail received today from a person in Tampa:

Hey Debbie.
Do you have a recipe you can share for spicy vegetarian tortilla soup?

Listen to my radio segment on WGRR 103.5FM on Friday 03~14~08. I'll share the recipe and post it on my webpage Yummy~issimo!

I like it spicy.

Really spicy.

I hope they do in Tampa.

What Did I Really Say?

Wow!

I'm shocked at how many people actually read the Yummy! blog.  

Maybe I shouldn't talk about Bacchus and liberally imbibing libations quite so much.

Nah.

I received a lot of e~mails asking how I responded to the catering company asking me to help them with the Kahlua pulled pork recipe.

My response:

Dear Catering Company ~
While I have never made Kahlua pulled pork, I would probably take a red wine marinade recipe and play with it until I found the right combination  ~ just make sure you don't make it too sweet.  Failing that, I'd research Cooks.com or Epicurious.com.  Good luck.

Short, sweet, not too helpful, not too bitchy.

An afterword.

Had I posted a recipe like this on  Yummy~issimo! Personal Chef ServiceI would have gladly copied, pasted and shared.

Now I'm starting to feel bad that I didn't help.

Oh well.

Super Chef!

Got a strange e~mail today.

That's not too unusual.

Did you know I can buy Viagra, Cialis, Prozak or any other kind of drug I need through the mail? One e~mail even guarantees me I can gain 4". I can't tell you how much I'd love to be 5'6 instead of my shrimpy 5'2".

But I digress.

Today's e~mail takes the cake, breaks it up into little chunks, puts it on the plate and serves it with ice cream.

Dear Debbie
I work for a small catering company and we've had a request for Kaluha pulled pork. We've never made this and don't know where to start. We need your help!!

Huh?

What I wanted to say:

Dear Catering Company:
You have the gig. If you didn't offer the requested menu item, then suck it up and do the research ~ just like I'd have to do if I wrote the recipe and cooking instructions for you!

Maybe I should wear a cape instead of an apron saying "SUPER CHEF!"

Oh. But wait. Then I'd actually have to help.

Chef Irvine in a Sticky Wicket

Huh. It seems one of my favorite TV Chefs, Robert Irvine of Dinner: Impossible, is in deep dodo.

Seems that said Chef enhanced his credentials a bit. Friday's Washington Post blew the lid off the kettle and boiled the pot dry.

Born in 1965, Chef enlisted in the British Royal Navy at the age of 15 for a 10~year tour of duty. He also claimed that he worked on Princess Di's wedding cake in 1981. Now I suppose that it is possible that he was plucked off of a big ship in the middle of a big ocean and flown to England to help create the sugary masterpiece. But Irvine would have been 16 when Di rode in the white carriage with the white horses.

You might find this hard to believe but I don't watch The Food Network a whole lot anymore.

It seems to me, in my humble opinion, that they are dumbing down the content. Now don't get me wrong. There is a place and a need for shows to teach people how to boil water, how to make a wedding cake from boxed cake mix and how to add a couple of pounds of butter, sour cream and mayonnaise to every recipe to make it taste heavenly.

But I did love watching Dinner: Impossible every Wednesday night. Even sweet husband Tim enjoyed the shows and watching a cooking show is certainly not at the top of his TV list.  I would never in a zillion years be able to pull off the magic that Robert Irvine has accomplished in these challenges.

Chef Irvine was and is a great chef. I just wish he didn't feel the need to claim chef fame for things he can't back up.

I feel like I've spent all day making a delicate souffle that fell.

I hope he comes back to TV soon, with dignity and new recipes. I'll miss his shows.

Photo uploaded from Robert Irvine's Amazon Blog