Tuesday, July 22, 2008

There Are No Tears In The (Personal Chef's) Kitchen!!!

A Blog A Day For A Month: Day 22. Only 9 more days to go.

Have you been watching this season's Next Food Network Star on the Food Network? The contestants are so weak, I'm amazed the judges ~ two executives from the FN, Bobby Flay and a rotating celebrity chef judge ~ haven't sent all of them home and began again.

The show this last Sunday is a perfect example of what I'm talking about. The final three contestants ~ Lisa, Adam and Aaron ~ were in Las Vegas. The first challenge was to memorize a couple of lines and be able to walk and talk at the same time. Evidently it's pretty tough to do.

Now, I sometimes have trouble doing 7~8 things at once but that's only after I've visited with Bacchus for a while. As Personal Chefs, we have to multitask. We can have three burners going at once, two different items in the oven and still have enough brain power and dexterity to roll out pastry dough.

As my chef friend, Debbie, said the other day "I'm breaking my arm patting myself on the back!"

So it's been with great interest that I've been following the thread on my Personal Chef's message board and realized I'm not quite a bitchy as I thought.

Well, maybe I am. But that's a different blog entirely!

I may say it under my breath (sometimes Bacchus makes it louder) but putting it in writing is not my style. That can come back to bite you. And I do enough stupid stuff that I don't need to actually write it down!

Here are some of my favorite comments:

  • Is it just me or is everyone on the show a no talent hack? I'd send them all home. None of them is competent in the kitchen or in front of the camera. Either the field of contestants was very thin, they had terrible judgment in the selection process, or they looked much better in the interview process. And could they POSSIBLY cry more? Geez! There's no crying in kitchens!

  • Even the men cry! I think it must be a pre-req during auditions.

  • And they brought them all back. Must be because they couldn't send them all home. "You all stink equally so I guess we have to bring you all back...".

  • I thought the same thing, trying to figure out who I would vote off. I wouldn't watch any of them. Of course I wouldn't watch that whacked-out-french-inspired-mom that won last season either.

  • And two of my favorite quotes:

  • My husband says he can't look at Lisa without thinking of Vulcans.

  • "Name blocked to protect the innocent" thinks of Japanese cartoon characters ala Speed Racer or Pokemon when she sees Lisa.

  • And the winner is:

  • I think a Vulcan mated with Sandra Bullock.
  • Wow! Talk about bitchy. True, but bitchy ~ and I love it!

    I'm looking forward to this Sunday's "finale" when somebody is crowned and given the golden whisk. Imagine the tears!


    Chef Debbie said...

    All I can say is if you stuff me into a slinky black pantsuit and string me up 30 ft. up in the air, I'd forget my own name.

    Seriously, I watch this show and every week I think...there is no WAY Paula Deen could do this....there is no WAY Giada Delaurentis could do THAT (in under 10 hours)...there is no WAY Ina Gartin could do THAT FREAKING thing!!!!

    Bobby Flay reprimanded all the contestants one week because they weren't able to tell him what a chipotle pepper is and told him that to be a Food Network Star they need to be authorities on all food. Sheesh. Each of the stars has STAFF and people to PREP their food and DEVELOP their recipes even! Come on! This show is not realistically seeking talent, but is seeking to entertain. And it must be, because we are all watching!

    Yummy~issimo! said...

    But I'd put YOU against any one of these yahoos ~ you have the cooking chops, class and can walk and talk at the same time :)

    And I think the guys would love to see you in a slinky black pantsuit....